and the livin’ was easy

July 31, 2012

I felt I simply couldn’t let the month slip by (and the summer – tomorrow is Autumn, you know) without dropping in a short note to Living Gently…

Life is demanding: commuting and work seem to use up all my energy, leaving little room for much else. I’ve squeezed in a few movies, some good food, good friends and 22 poems (as of the time of writing).  I am turning thirty in a few months’ time and have begun my reflections on the decade. One of my wise friends reckons that very marked and significant changes occur in our lives at the turn of our personal decades. I do not remember turning ten particularly, but she is right about turning twenty and, I think, thirty. It is true for my husband also. We are busy making our preparations to emigrate in 2013. Not forever – just three, or possibly five, years. And probably not too far away. And I am asking myself questions about not just what it is that I want from life, but how exactly it is that I can go about getting it.

The number one goal I have established for myself is to reach full and final freedom and recovery from eating distress. It lingers like a fungus that begins its spread again whenever I ignore it. I had a jolting realisation last weekend that this is my last year to avail of the services of the astonishing, life-affirming clinic which I attend, and oh, it would be wonderful to leave Ireland, leaving eating distress behind. So that is goal number one. One day I will write about the overwhelming intensity of disordered thinking that comprises this complex, so that you can understand what a massive goal this is.

Goal number two is to complete this professional masters degree before we depart so that I can begin in earnest the search for full time work as a prison chaplain, or, failing that, at least work as a chaplain or pastoral counsellor to any particularly marginalised group. I also feel quite drawn to working with the dying or those on death row: opportunities for such work will only become evident when we know precisely where it is we are going. This is quite exciting.

Further goals to follow. See you all in the season of mist and mellow fruitfulness, chumps!